Supporting Flexible Thinking in Kids
What is flexible thinking?
Looking out for different perspectives!
Flexible thinking is our ability to think about something in a new or different way and solve problems when things change. It helps us adapt, cope with change, and be creative!
Flexible thinking can be tricky for everyone sometimes, but it can be extra challenging for some people. It’s a skill that a lot of my OT families ask me about. Here are some tips, strategies, and activities that I’ve found to be helpful as I work with children on flexible thinking skills!
Things to keep in mind:
Inflexibility or advocacy?
Everyone has trouble with flexible thinking sometimes- both kids and adults of all neurotypes!
A child’s “inflexible” ideas might be a way for them to advocate for something important to them.
Example: Your family is going to the playground, and little Sophie insists on wearing her polkadot rainboots. You explain that it’s not raining and offer 2 different pairs of sneakers to choose from instead, but Sophie will not budge. She seems inflexible, and insists on her rainboots! “Why can’t she be a more flexible thinker?!”
Another perspective: Sophie’s sneakers feel really tight and uncomfy on her feet today (aka sensory sensitivity). The sneakers are so uncomfortable, she can’t focus on anything else, especially playing. Sophie doesn’t have the words to explain this, but she knows her rainboots feel better, so she advocates for what works.
What we can learn: Sophie’s “inflexibility” is actually self-advocacy- she’s communicating a need the best way she can.
Neurotype plays a role: A child may be showing flexibility, just in a different way. When neurotypes differ, flexible thinking may look different. A child may have a flexible or creative idea that looks totally different from mine! Their ideas or ways to solve a problem may surprise me, but it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong- just a different way to think!
Support regulation first, then flexible thinking skills can follow. When the brain is in fight/flight/freeze, it’s in survival mode, not thinking mode. Flexible thinking goes offline when we’re stressed, upset, dysregulated or overstimulated. Support regulation, felt safety, and sensory needs first, then we can support flexible thinking skills.
Flexible thinking in action!
Ways to Support Flexible Thinking Skills at Home:
Here are some easy ways that we can promote flexible thinking with kids at home!
Modeling
As adults, we can lead by example and model flexible thinking skills in our daily lives. For example, you could say out loud in front of your child:
“Oh no, I planned to go to the park today, but now it’s raining. How dissapointing! I’ll need to use my flexible thinking skills… hmm… I’ll find a fun way to move my body indoors instead.”
Note: Don’t feel like you need to skip over naming your feelings and regulating first. It’s normal to feel disappointed when plans change. Showing your child how to acknowledge your emotions and then adapt is a great skill to model!
”Switch it up” during play
I like to start by playing a favorite activity with the child and letting them take the lead. If they are pushing their toy train along the track, then I will too. Once we are having fun, I’ll change a little something in a playful way. Maybe my train is carrying cargo made of play dough. Maybe my train goes under the bridge instead of over the bridge, or over a track made of Legos. I usually don’t encourage the child to play my way, because all ways of playing are valid! I just model playing in a different way- I model how I use my flexible thinking skills to have fun during play.
Ask your child: “Can you think of a different way?”
Let the child take the lead by asking them if they have any ideas on how to do things differently. You can make a game out of it by seeing how many ways you can think of to play with one toy.
Be silly
How many things could this item be? Play pretend! Maybe this bean bag can be a hat, or a sandwich, or a pillow, or a space ship! What if this clothespin opened and closed its “mouth” like an alligator?! Don’t be afraid to be silly, vulnerable, and creative! If the child suggests something different, follow their lead.
Support their ideas
As long as the child’s ideas are safe and kind, cheer them on! Use your “yes… and improv skills!
Sometimes, in our OT sessions, a child thinks of a creative idea that I know probably won’t work. I say, “what a creative idea! Let’s try it together!” We try it out, and then I say, “Sometimes our ideas don’t work the first time. Let’s problem solve and figure out a different way.”
Summarize what happened after you were flexible
It can be helpful to voice aloud a summary of what happened and how being flexible worked out. For example:
“Today we planned to go to the park, but it was raining, so we couldn’t go. We used our flexible thinking skills and decided to go to the trampoline park instead. That ended up being so much fun, even though it wasn’t what we had planned at first!”
Validate and collaborate
Being flexible can be really hard sometimes, even for grown ups. We can validate a child’s emotions and effort by saying things like, “This feels really hard… Let’s problem solve together.”
Start from a place of safety and playfulness
Flexible thinking is a higher-level skill that cannot happen efficiently if our brains and bodies are in “fight, flight, or freeze” mode. Think about a time when you felt stressed and then suddenly had to respond to a change of plans. It’s much more difficult to be flexible when you don’t feel calm. When we work on flexibility with children, we should build a strong foundation of safety, regulation, and fun. That’s how they learn best!
Consider playing a game that innately promotes flexible thinking and creativity.
I love tabletop role playing games for this! (Check out my article on how I love D&D for skill building!). Creative art projects like up-cycling (turning recycled materials into art or something useful) and drama/ theater activities like improv or puppets can be great as well!
These activities and strategies have worked for me, but it always depends on the context and the child. Promoting flexible thinking skills takes some flexible thinking skills!
If you try out any of these strategies or have anything else that works for you and your child, let me know!
Written By Nicole Raisin, OTR/L